Just kidding, kind of.
It's an American tradition to list off shit we usually take for granted, but shouldn't. So here's mine.
My mom. She's cool as hell, takes me places and buys me stuff. We've traveled fairly extensively together and didn't want to cut each others' throats; there are very few people I can say that about. Thanks mom.
My old man, who's also my best fishing and drinking buddy. After having a shitty relationship for years, I'm glad we got it straightened out. Also, he has a kick-ass house in the mountains which is more or less my own personal resort.
My brother, who is my sounding board for all my (generally terrible) ideas and often the anchor of reason on my family's ship of retardation.
And, of course, my many, many great friends scattered around the country and the world. Despite our constant disagreements, my perpetual assholery, and the hangovers we have the next day like clockwork, you all still put up with my moronic behavior and my challenging personality. It'd be a lonely world without y'all.
I'm thankful for Me, and the fact that I still exist. I've realized that pretty much any day you wake up breathing is a good day - even if the actual day's activities are less than desirable. I'm thankful for the many interesting, trying, often shitty experiences I've had; I am better and stronger because of them, and they have altered my life perspective in a positive way.
I'm thankful for the friends/brothers I've trained and fought with, and the fact that we live in a country where such men will literally sign their lives away for their fellow countrymen. God bless all of you.
Most importantly, I'm thankful for the vodka mixed into this orange juice, because I felt like absolute shit before I started drinking this.
Happy Thanksgiving, you animals.
P.S. - To all my boys who spent this day in Trashcanistan: A: sorry for the shitty DFAC food, and B: you're in our thoughts, get home safe and soon.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thanksgiving Road Trip
Just finished packing for a four-day weekend in NY, courtesy of Turkey Day. Road tripping up there with a buddy from my squad who grew up in the area.
Assuming we have no surprise guests, it'll be just the mother and I. It ought to be very food-and-drink oriented (since we're both total foodies) followed most likely by about a six hour coma. She can make a hell of a Thanksgiving dinner.
Other than that, I also get to go car shopping for the mother... she wants something exotic, which I'm obviously not opposed to. I have a few things in mind, but I'll just see what she falls in love with that fits the budget and meets my approval - it's like the world's most difficult and subjective Venn Diagram. Anyway, more to follow eventually.
Peace
Assuming we have no surprise guests, it'll be just the mother and I. It ought to be very food-and-drink oriented (since we're both total foodies) followed most likely by about a six hour coma. She can make a hell of a Thanksgiving dinner.
Other than that, I also get to go car shopping for the mother... she wants something exotic, which I'm obviously not opposed to. I have a few things in mind, but I'll just see what she falls in love with that fits the budget and meets my approval - it's like the world's most difficult and subjective Venn Diagram. Anyway, more to follow eventually.
Peace
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Hungover Scribblings
Greetings ladies and gents,
I've been neglecting this site lately due largely to my hectic schedule and my recent inability to focus. I'm reasonably certain that the Army has made me substantially dumber than I used to be. Such is life. Fortunately, I'm now sitting here with a pretty heinous drunk-over (hungover but still pretty drunk) and drinking a PBR to recover, so my fingers feel nimble on the keyboard.
I spent most of the week moving into my new room - our leadership decided to reorganize us barracks rats so as to keep company/platoon consolidated. This is a terrible idea, as my platoon is full of alcoholic d-bags like myself. Last night was proof of that... fun though.
The room I've moved into was inhabited by some barely-functioning form of human trash who clearly enjoyed living in squalor. I will never understand how (and more importantly, why) anyone would choose to live in filth and darkness. Sure, cleaning is a bit of a pain in the ass, but it certainly beats the alternative. I fear for humanity when we've reached the point that we're too lazy or preoccupied to pick up after ourselves... maybe it's a cultural thing?
Vanessa's running like a champ these days, despite an annoying belt squeak that I seemingly can't be bothered to fix. With traction control off, first gear at full throttle is a hang-on-and-pray-for-forgiveness experience... which is why, anymore, I leave it in full safety net mode for most applications, and will put it on Competitive Driving Mode if I'm about to engage in illegal activity or just happen to be feeling rowdy.
In said Competitive Mode, I put an SRT8 Dodge Challenger properly in its place this week. Got lucky and snagged front seats to a red light next to this thing. Eased into first, as always (I hate breaking parts), nailed it once I got rolling and speed shifted into second, which always throws me a bit sideways. By the end of second, he was literally in the rearview mirror. So I gracefully braked and took the next turn, sparing him the embarrassment of post-race conversation. I'm nothing if not a gentleman.
What else is new... hmmm. Going up to NY for Thanksgiving. The mother will cook, I will eat and drink, and we shall have fun. Another few weeks of block leave rapidly approaches, and I'll be heading back to Colorado for Christmas. I'm seeing an End Of The World As We Know It party happening on 12/21/12 in the mountains... holler if you want an invite.
Well. Time to start my day. Be good, kids.
I've been neglecting this site lately due largely to my hectic schedule and my recent inability to focus. I'm reasonably certain that the Army has made me substantially dumber than I used to be. Such is life. Fortunately, I'm now sitting here with a pretty heinous drunk-over (hungover but still pretty drunk) and drinking a PBR to recover, so my fingers feel nimble on the keyboard.
I spent most of the week moving into my new room - our leadership decided to reorganize us barracks rats so as to keep company/platoon consolidated. This is a terrible idea, as my platoon is full of alcoholic d-bags like myself. Last night was proof of that... fun though.
The room I've moved into was inhabited by some barely-functioning form of human trash who clearly enjoyed living in squalor. I will never understand how (and more importantly, why) anyone would choose to live in filth and darkness. Sure, cleaning is a bit of a pain in the ass, but it certainly beats the alternative. I fear for humanity when we've reached the point that we're too lazy or preoccupied to pick up after ourselves... maybe it's a cultural thing?
Vanessa's running like a champ these days, despite an annoying belt squeak that I seemingly can't be bothered to fix. With traction control off, first gear at full throttle is a hang-on-and-pray-for-forgiveness experience... which is why, anymore, I leave it in full safety net mode for most applications, and will put it on Competitive Driving Mode if I'm about to engage in illegal activity or just happen to be feeling rowdy.
In said Competitive Mode, I put an SRT8 Dodge Challenger properly in its place this week. Got lucky and snagged front seats to a red light next to this thing. Eased into first, as always (I hate breaking parts), nailed it once I got rolling and speed shifted into second, which always throws me a bit sideways. By the end of second, he was literally in the rearview mirror. So I gracefully braked and took the next turn, sparing him the embarrassment of post-race conversation. I'm nothing if not a gentleman.
What else is new... hmmm. Going up to NY for Thanksgiving. The mother will cook, I will eat and drink, and we shall have fun. Another few weeks of block leave rapidly approaches, and I'll be heading back to Colorado for Christmas. I'm seeing an End Of The World As We Know It party happening on 12/21/12 in the mountains... holler if you want an invite.
Well. Time to start my day. Be good, kids.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Hello Charleston
I'm in Charleston with my mother for this Veteran's Day weekend, since she has a conference down here. The weather is absurdly beautiful - 70 ish and sunny all day, with higher temps inbound for the next few days. Loving it.
Driving down here was rather nice until I hit Charleston proper. I've driven in New York, Chicago, Denver, Raleigh, and a lot of other cities, but I've never driven my car in such a nightmarish maze of one-ways, alleys, roundabouts and go-fuck-yourselves. When combined with traffic, pedestrians, unfamiliarity, and the horrible visibility from a Corvette coupe, it is genuinely awful.
We're staying at a hotel that is entirely too classy for douchebags such as myself - they clearly didn't run a background check on me before allowing me a room here. They probably have a surprise or two in store, if they keep feeding me alcohol.
I'd also like to point out the fact that I'm wearing a Patek Phillippe Calatrava ref. 5120 right now. It's stunning.
Later
Driving down here was rather nice until I hit Charleston proper. I've driven in New York, Chicago, Denver, Raleigh, and a lot of other cities, but I've never driven my car in such a nightmarish maze of one-ways, alleys, roundabouts and go-fuck-yourselves. When combined with traffic, pedestrians, unfamiliarity, and the horrible visibility from a Corvette coupe, it is genuinely awful.
We're staying at a hotel that is entirely too classy for douchebags such as myself - they clearly didn't run a background check on me before allowing me a room here. They probably have a surprise or two in store, if they keep feeding me alcohol.
I'd also like to point out the fact that I'm wearing a Patek Phillippe Calatrava ref. 5120 right now. It's stunning.
Later
Monday, November 5, 2012
Colorado Kool Aid
(That's a Coors heavy, for the unenlightened. They're pretty good for shitty beer. $14 for a case, tax free!)
On my way up to Raleigh today, I may or may not have raced a new 5.0 GT Mustang at a red light. Now, keep in mind - they're rated at 412 HP and 390 lb-ft of torque from the factory; a muscle car by anyone's definition. Let's just say that he was in the rearview mirror by the time I shifted into third, after he launched on me while I eased it into first without slipping a wheel. I crushed him soundly, to the point that I almost felt bad for him... if that was my car, I'd go trade it in and get a real sports car. Why is it that the only people who ever want to race are people who don't stand a chance? I'm praying that one day, an F430 will roll up next to me at a red light. Le sigh.
In other news, when did blue jeans get so goddamn expensive? I blew almost $250 on TWO pairs of Lucky jeans at the mall in Raleigh. I damn near had a heart attack when she told me what they cost. However, they're more comfortable than my pajamas, so I won't complain. They also have plenty of room to tuck my Glock 29 or Springfield TRP into, unlike my other pairs of Lucky's. These things are important.
Anyway, back to my Kool Aid.
Peace.
(P.S. - anyone want to go see Skyfall at midnight on Thursday? I don't have to be in Charleston until mid-afternoon on Friday...)
On my way up to Raleigh today, I may or may not have raced a new 5.0 GT Mustang at a red light. Now, keep in mind - they're rated at 412 HP and 390 lb-ft of torque from the factory; a muscle car by anyone's definition. Let's just say that he was in the rearview mirror by the time I shifted into third, after he launched on me while I eased it into first without slipping a wheel. I crushed him soundly, to the point that I almost felt bad for him... if that was my car, I'd go trade it in and get a real sports car. Why is it that the only people who ever want to race are people who don't stand a chance? I'm praying that one day, an F430 will roll up next to me at a red light. Le sigh.
In other news, when did blue jeans get so goddamn expensive? I blew almost $250 on TWO pairs of Lucky jeans at the mall in Raleigh. I damn near had a heart attack when she told me what they cost. However, they're more comfortable than my pajamas, so I won't complain. They also have plenty of room to tuck my Glock 29 or Springfield TRP into, unlike my other pairs of Lucky's. These things are important.
Anyway, back to my Kool Aid.
Peace.
(P.S. - anyone want to go see Skyfall at midnight on Thursday? I don't have to be in Charleston until mid-afternoon on Friday...)
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