Listen Up If You Like Drinking Games

This game is called Titties. Like Samuel Jackson, it'll get you drunk. This shit ain't for amateurs. Make sure you have fucktons of beer on hand before you begin. You'll still run out, but that's okay.

Game starts with the dealer calling out a suit. He deals around until someone draws a card of that suit, at which point they drink the number on the card, as counted out by the other players. So, let's say the dealer calls Spades, and deals until Player 3 draws the ten of Spades. Player 3 begins drinking, while Player 4 starts the count with "one", the next continues with "two", and so on and so forth. This continues until the count is over. The drinker then calls a suit, sets his beer down, and the game continues. The counters can count at whatever pace they desire, and the drinker can drink at his own pace.

Now here's the catch: if the drinker finishes his beer before the count is over, whoever missed the count has to take his place. Let's use the above example to explain this. Player 3 is drinking for a count of ten, while players 1, 2, and 4 count. Player 2 says "eight", as Player 3 finishes his beer and slams it to the table. Because Player 4 didn't count, he then assumes Player 3's place, and starts the count anew - he has to drink for a count of ten. This can theoretically go on forever.

The other rules:

Whoever draws a 2 is the Two Bitch until someone else draws a 2. Being the Two Bitch means drinking anytime someone else has to drink. You cannot set your beer down until they have set theirs down. The Two Bitch cannot slam on anyone, and must continue drinking with whoever is the designated drinker until another 2 is drawn.

If you mess up the count, you take the place of whoever is drinking. That means starting over from their original number.

If you forget to call a suit before setting your beer down after a round of drinking, you must repeat your turn.

This game will ruin everyone but the most experienced drinkers. I personally witnessed two fairly accomplished alcoholics vomit from it tonight... though I'd been drinking for twelve hours prior to the start of it, I managed to avoid that fate. I am, however, very, very drunk.

Anyway. Try it if you need something to do. It's fun.

-Jack