Thoughts on Tebow and Tebowing

Since I brought up Tebowing in my last post, I'd thought I'd take a moment to post my thoughts on such shenanigans. They are as follows:

Tebow is at best a decent quarterback. Worse, every major sports network has been religiously fellating him since his days as a Florida Gator, and it hasn't stopped despite proving to be a marginal professional quarterback with the Broncos. Equally absurd is the unspeakably retarded act known as Tebowing, in which one gets down on one knee, bows one's head, and prays regardless of what everyone else around them is doing (in Tebow's case, that's usually going over their upcoming plays). I think this is fucking ridiculous. Tebowing should be the act of, I don't know, maybe NOT THROWING THE GODDAMN BALL TO THE OPPOSING DEFENSE. No, I want MY team's quarterback to be known for something completely unrelated to football, because that makes sense. Fuck.

That said, Tebowing can be done properly and/or in ways that bring me joy (which should be the standard method of measurement for literally everything). For example, the one mentioned in my last post, where my friend busted one out right in the middle of a goddamn mosh pit. Not only was it funny for its shock value and creative blasphemy, but who actually has the balls to take a knee in the middle of the pit? (Answer: Wade does.) Not bad, I give it a 7/10.

This next one, though, completely overshadows nearly anything that has ever been accomplished by man throughout history, to include the wheel, electricity, nuclear warfare, and commercial whaling (but NOT including bacon or hallucinogenic drugs). If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, SPOILER ALERT: it's a really, really, ridiculously hot blonde girl Tebowing in nothing but some sexy-ass heels. Mmmm. Check it out here. That's how it's done, folks.

Oh, and I'm still a huge Broncos fan, by the way.